Make the most of yourself….for that is all there is of you. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be Yourself.
It’s a seemingly simple phrase that’s popular among motivational posters, self-help gurus, positive psychology books, and even in high school classrooms.
The phrase is so popular it’s become morphed with an unintended meaning. When we do follow the advice to “be yourself” a few things happen.
People will tell you that you’ve changed.
Along the lines to “be yourself”, everyone is out to spot those who are not genuine. When people have seen us change from a specific personality, a specific attitude, or a specific set of characteristics, they’ll think we are inauthentic when we are really just trying to break the facade and be ourselves.
People will think you’ve given up.
When we become ourselves, our habits might change. We might stop doing the things that we only did because everyone else is doing it. This is when we have room to do what we’ve been wanting to do, but never had the courage to act on. Yet, others might confuse our ability to let go and interpret it as “giving up” or a weakness. Giving up is when we stop because it’s too hard to go on. Letting go is when we stop because it’s too hard to hold on. The difference may seem subtle, but it’s quite powerful.
Advice for genuinely being yourself.
As Heraclitus said, “The only thing inevitable in life, is change”. Everything changes, including you. If you want to be yourself, if you want to be happy, you need to do what you enjoy and what serves you. We all need to do things we don’t like, but determine which things we actually need to do.
People will tell you that you’ve changed, but that’s what life’s about. People will think you gave up, but if you are truly being yourself, you are giving up everyone’s expectations, and the life you lived to please others, so you can give room for you to be yourself.